This little light of mine

I never thought much of this quote until the other day...when I realized just how much I dull my own shine for the sake of others.

 

On countless occasions I have played down my intelligence to make someone else feel better about themselves. More so when I was younger and my older coworkers would only respond kindly to me when they thought they had the upper hand.

 

At other times, I have stifled my sometimes outgoing nature to keep from upstaging a wall flower.

 

And, most regrettably, I have played down my relationship with my Savior...

 

I'm ashamed to admit that there have been situations when I have put my faith in the backseat to keep someone from feeling convicted. When I have kept silent in moments that begged for guidance. Never realizing that my love for God, and more importantly His love for me, may have been exactly what they needed to hear about at that moment. You see, sometimes I fear being labeled as a "Judgmental Christian". 

 

 

 

 

But now I realize that the true "shine" that comes with an intimate relationship with Jesus is one that attracts those that need it most, and I am not doing anyone any favors by dulling it. Let your shine be a beacon. A beacon of love, of redemption, of hope. 

You may be the only Jesus some people ever see, make sure they can't miss you ;)

 

 

Her first formal...

I think it is safe to say that my little girl is officially a young lady...

I'm not all that sure that she wasn't five

like two weeks ago. Somewhere, somehow, I blinked and she is this beautiful fourteen year old.

I hope when she looks back at this pic, she remembers the trip just her and I took, searching the entire mall for "just the right dress". And I hope she remembers the youtube video I watched so that I could get the braiding in the back of her hair just right...or the time I took doing her make up, though it's hard to improve on the beauty that she is.

The things I will remember: the look on her face as I helped her zip this dress up in the dressing room, how proud she was to be able to walk in heels, and most of all...watching her spin around the room with her date when I came in to pick her up... exuding the confidence only a young woman can possess, yet the giddy smile of a girl.

I love you Emily Elizabeth.

Where does the time go??

Seriously, where?? I swear that overnight Josiah has at least tripled his vocabulary. Rarely anymore single words, he's practically holding conversations now. I wish I could just bottle all these moments up to keep them fresh for later. I love memories, but I hate how they seem to fade like photos. Eventually losing some of their detail...It makes raising my children so bittersweet. I love seeing what they will do next, but I can't help but mourn the phases they leave behind...

Call me crazy...

But I really want to register for a 5k walk/run! I've been hitting the eliptical and treadmill pretty hard lately (for a fatgirl!!) and really think this is something to work towards. The funny thing is, I have always said that I hate running! But I think the more weight I lose, the easier running will be. And lets be honest, by running I mean walk fast...maybe jog :) I've been so inspired by this blog (www.runsforcookies.com) She has lost 120+ lbs and RUNS! So Abel has said that he will do it with me and I think even Em is thinking she will join. I'm quite excited at just the possibility that I could do such a thing. 2012 is going to be amazing...I can feel it <3

Teenage blues

In a little over a month my oldest will be 14. She is smart, beautiful, and some days the death of my sanity! There are times when days go by without incident, and other times we can't go two hours without one of us snapping at the other. And as frustrated as I get with her, I get twice as frustrated with myself. Nothing can remind you of your shortcomings as quickly as motherhood. I always wonder, "what if I was a little more patient" or "what am I NOT saying to let her know how much I adore her". I suppose the best I can hope for is that she grows up never having doubted that I love her and did the best I could...Funny how when you are a teenager it seems like the hardest time in your life...until you raise one.

What's for Dinner

My absolute favorite time of the year to cook is fall. I have free reign to make any soup I can come up with, and even attempt to bake (which is almost ALWAYS a FAIL!). Typically we grocery shop a week or two at a time. Being a family of 6 on a very strict budget means that my grocery list must be VERY detailed, with little to no wiggle room for extras.
Our meal planning starts with everyone picking 1-3 dinners (depending on how much shopping we are doing). By letting everyone pick a few dinners, there is less distress on the nights I'm making something that isn't exactly their favorite. Knowing that a meal they picked is just a night or two away somehow makes it bearable! After all dinners are chosen, I break down each meal into ingredients. I then see what, if any, items we already have. Lunch, breakfast and snacks are usually left to my discretion and I do the same with them.
After all items are listed, I complete my grocery list by sorting it into departments (Produce, market, frozen, etc.) And I sometimes go as far as to make an estimated total so I know what I'm working with! This seems like a lot of work to some, but it ensures that with my small budget, I come home with meals and not random groceries.
I will say that Fall sometimes means that I get to pick more meals than everyone else...sometimes my kids and hubby just don't have enough sense to pick Chicken Noodle Soup EVERY week! So I do it for them ;)

What marriage looks like to me...

While it may not be the best picture, it's the only pic I can find on my laptop...BUT, this post isn't about how I think we look in a pic, it's about what lies beyond that pic. I just read an article about a couple married 72 years. After a car accident they died just one hour apart, holding hands in the hospital. They were loyal to one another until the very end. Such a story seems so rare. And the thing is, I would have never known of this story if it weren't for the Christian radio station we listen to. Our magazines and news are filled with stories of adultery, divorce and the like...but stories of faithful, loving couples hardly make the front page.
But that's exactly where most children and young adults get their information: magazines, papers, social media. I remember when we first were married, I constantly thought of the statistic that says more than 1/2 of all marriages end in divorce. I felt as if our fate was practically sealed. And that frame of mind led to exactly that...a divorce. I'm pleased to say we were back together almost as quick as the ink was dry on our divorce papers and remarried on our anniversary. And I can honestly say that my frame of mind is a "forever" frame of mind. There is no thought of divorce...EVER. That's not to say he doesn't make me crazy from time to time (and I'm sure I return the favor), but I know what it's like to live without him and because of that I would choose him again and again...